The former MTV boy wonder never really evolved beyond non-sequiturs, bad photography, and juvenile humor that even the least discerning 13-year olds would drub. The rest, well, who gives a good goddamn?Ī word on the comic stylings of McG. Shock and awful ensues as Cole must survive the night. Spicy stuff right there – memes as cinema. McG, the creative mind that he is, overlays a bold-red “WHAT THE FUCK” across Cole’s face. Assuming he’ll witness make-out sessions, which he does, Cole then bears witness to something far more crimson. But Cole wakes up to the noises of spin the bottle. Modern teenagers are generally a little smarter than that. At least, it would’ve been worth exploring if it were still the ‘80s and cliques/labeling still actually mattered. Perhaps the idea of the in-crowd’s evil is a fun and worthy twist worth exploring. ![]() They’re young, they’re dumb, and they’re oh-so-homicidal. And there’s a goth, largely silent Asian-American girl named Sonya ( Hana Mae Lee). John ( Andrew Bachelor) is a rank African-American caricature who’s given lots of knowing one-liners, like screaming “Black Lives Matter” in a heinously unfunny moment of self-defense. There’s the disgusted, airheaded cheerleader, Allison ( Bella Thorne). There’s the smug jock, Max ( Robbie Amell, sans shirt). Wanna guess which types of types Bee hangs with before we list them? It’s pretty easy. Anyway, news flash – Bee’s also a member of a popular kid cult that prays on dweebs and drinks their blood. References do not whole new movie or ideas make. It all feels highly condescending, the sum of writer Brian Duffield’s fantasy wish list of references. You’ve been advised.)īee and Cole are special friends who giddily (and cloyingly) discuss Predator and Aliens, and watch Billy Jack projected onto the back of Cole’s shed. (From here, we might as well spoil the hell out of this movie as to help encourage avoiding accidental autoplay viewings on Netflix. ![]() His parents ( Leslie Bibb and Ken Marino) leave him alone to go “hand-job each other” at a hotel, if you need insight into Cole’s worldview. And with this film being pitched from the perspective of a 12-year old boy, everyone else is kind of shallow, simple, and self-centered compared to Cole. Cole is yet another maligned geek, forever glum and bullied and just, you know, waiting for his moment of maligned boy redemption and greatness to fall upon him. Double bonus: Cole’s best friend Melanie ( Emily Alyn Lind) aids the boy in his misadventures, and is also a secret object of desire. The Babysitter is a pre-pubescent romp about a young boy named Cole ( Judah Lewis) and his babysitter crush, Bee ( Samara Weaving). Still want in? Candy’s candy? Fine, here’s what awaits within McG’s house of half-assed horrors. It’ll leave a hell of a bitter taste in the mouths of general audiences and horror nuts alike. No, McG’s The Babysitter is just shambolic, a splatter of half-thoughts and shallow tween horror nostalgia smugly repackeged under the false pretenses of “meta,” looking for quick numbers to boost Netflix’s metrics in an appropriately slotted October release. That would imply that the parts are there, and they simply don’t add up. To call The Babysitter a miscalculation feels like an insult to math.
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